It’s just one of those times you just want to scream! I’ve spend 11 years working with my son in managing and controlling his asthma. He patiently sat for hours during nebulizer treatments when he was a preschooler. He faithfully took his nightly maintenance medications. He learned his triggers, went to Asthma Camp with the American Lung Association (which I would highly recommend to any child-just call your local chapter and ask if they offer camp), he became empowered. He took hold of his health. He was no longer a victim of lung disease sitting on the sidelines like he often did as a small child. He was in control of his asthma and he knew the value of taking his maintenance medications. Well, up until puberty. Today I learned that no matter how savvy our kids are, they are still kids with raging hormones and a brain that is not fully developed.
This is where I just want to scream! I realized that it was about time to re-order more Singular and Flovent, so I went his room to see how much he had left. He had plenty left, enough to get him through the next two months!
Aghhhhhhhhhhhh!
After all those years of teaching, learning and good practice, hormones and the teen years come along and destroy all that was right in our asthma world. Thankfully, he has not caught a cold or been exposed to any of his triggers lately. After I took the blow to my ego in thinking that I had done a wonderful job empowering him, I came to realize the flaw in my plan: I did not plan for puberty. I did not consider the Invincible Teen Years where parents are dumb, teachers just don’t understand and teens know all the answers to the world’s problems.
Right when I let go and let him take the lead was the exact time that all judgement and common sense drained from his brain. When I asked him what was up, he simply said, “I don’t know…guess I forgot”. The thing is that he really doesn’t know and he really did forget. I clearly needed a new strategy. I asked him what was the solution and he simply answered, “I got nothing”. I appreciated his honesty, but seriously? Finally, a decision was reached: asthma maintenance medications are extremely important and they are easy to forget when you are feeling fine. When you are feeling sick, then your body is begging for medicine. When you are feeling good, your brain is not focused on illness. I must give him some kind words since he never leaves his rescue medications behind and always carries his Epi Pens® and inhaler faithfully-that deserves a few props.
The NEW PLAN is to take his Singulair and Flovent before he brushes his teeth and to keep them with his tooth brush and paste. I said good-bye to my Mother-Of-the-Year Award and instead accepted reality as a better place to be. If we can discover the problem then we have a fighting chance at fixing it. Next up is tackling dating with a food allergic teenager. I see why our hair turns gray about now…
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One of the hardest things I find about managing both life threatening food allergies and asthma is talking to others. I hate to be the one that might be perceived as demanding, pushing or for asking too much. What I now know, fourteen years later, is that honest, clear information presented with kindness works!..
i’m going thru the same, Caroline! it’s nice to know that the situation isn’t novel to my family. i think that one of the best things about AAPE & blogs like yours, is that we are never alone. there is always someone experiencing the same. from that, i can draw strength & guidance.
Clearly, we’re not alone and we’re all in this together!