Effects of food allergies on Parents

Yesterday, One Spot Allergy posted information about a study regarding the effects of food allergies on parents.  This caught my attention!  My husband and I experienced many challenges as a couple once my son was diagnosed with food allergies. The study was completed by the Smith Child Heath Research Program, Children’s Memorial Hospital, Chicago, IL.  One Spot Allergy is one of my trusted favorites, so I decided to take a closer look.  Does this chronic disease bring on some extra added stress to a family?

The Study acknowledged that parents of food allergic children are responsible for risk assessment and management of their child’s condition.  Parents attitudes, knowledge and beliefs all play into managing food allergies.  The goal of the study was to determine their knowledge and perceptions.  They surveyed 2,945 parents living in the US from 2008 to 2009.  I actually remember completing their survey myself! What a small world isn’t?

The study:  Food allergy knowledge, attitudes, and beliefs of parents with food-allergic children in the United States

Here is a quick overview of their findings:

• 75% of the parents had correct knowledge of food allergies
• 95% were able to correctly identify the signs of a milk induced reaction
• 52% incorrectly believed young children are at higher risk for fatal anaphylaxis than adolescents
• 85% agreed that children should carry Epi Pens at school, but 91% felt that schools should have staff trained in food allergy

This part is where the study gets down to business, from a parental standpoint that is:

• One in four parents admitted to marital/relationship strain due to food allergies
• 40% experienced hostility from other parents when trying to accommodate their child’s food allergies.

Here is my food for thought:

1. What happened to the other 25% of parents who don’t have good knowledge.  What happened here?  Not enough personal research?  The physician didn’t have enough time to education or simple denial?  Inquiring minds want to know!
2. Before my son became an adolescent, I would have guessed those toddler years that gave my first gray hairs would have been the most dangerous.  Now, I know that at this age kids “know everything” and peer pressure is strong along with ignorance.  This year, the dean of discipline at our school had a call a student in because he didn’t believe food allergies where real and we feared he would unintentionally hurt a food allergic child.
3. My marriage felt the strain of risk assessment when my husband and I had different view points of what is acceptable risk.  Also, I did a poor job of allowing him opportunity for management of the food allergies.  For example, I didn’t trust him ordering in a restaurant without me in the beginning.  He was terrible (and still is..please insert loud sigh) at label reading.  Last week he brought home our  “old” regular brand of soy milk that recently experienced a manufacturing change and now may contain almond.  Somethings just never change.  Thankfully, we have a rule of reading labels again at home and my son caught it.
4. Hostility is a whole other conservation that we’ll have next week!

Right after my son was diagnosed with asthma and his HUGE list of life threatening food allergies, I was fortunate enough to attend a lecture given by a Behavioral Pediatrician from Children’s Hospital in Oakland, CA.  She explained that when you first get a diagnosed with serious food allergies, parents must be the warden and small child is basically on lock-down while the parents learn how to manage.  Then they move onto the role of prison guards and then finally parole officers with the older child checking in with parents.
 
She highlighted the fact that often the Mom morphs into Super Woman and becomes care taker extraordinaire.  The dad often believes that he needs to bring in more income due the chronic illness and throws his Super Dad self even deeper into work.  Now, of course, not all families have this structure, but I am sure you get the point that one person becomes the rock star care taker while the other becomes the rock star income earner.
She strongly suggested that parents make date night sacred and that they pay close attention to the various roles we unconsciously take on and then decide what is best for the family.  Good advice.
I think it is safe to say, that when any chronic illness hits a family, there will be stress and strain until the family understands the management of the disease and the roles of the various family members.  Most important to me is that the family finds a realistic balance as the different ages and stages hit.  Management and risk change with age and we slowly pass the baton and empower the child to manage their disease.
Do you have any tips for managing this type of family stress to share?