Why Your Teen (Preteens too) Food Allergy Comfort Level Matters

Mouth flapped open, in the most unattractive moment, I gasped when the dining service director at my son’s college shared a story of a student eating for two years from the buffet line without disclosing their allergy. She was stunned the student had never had a reaction. Or, did the student experience reactions that were never reported to the school?  Could a reaction have inspired the new-found request to discuss allergies?I personally know of several situations where students did not notify the school of their ER visit.  Sitting with my parent hat on, I was truly perplexed. What compelled this student to risk their life two to three times daily?
The thought of thousands of allergen savvy cupcakes baked, endless parent-to-parent conversations, 504 Plan meetings, allergy appointments, epinephrine auto-injectors purchased and hours of stress and worry to end up tossed aside due to a student’s not sharing information is maddening to me.  I could not let this story go. How and why does this continually happen? As parents, are we failing our kids or are our kids and the system failing?
Being on campus for Parent’s Weekend, I had the lucky opportunity to chat with students, parents, and administrators about a wide range of college-life topics. Conversation after conversation all yielded the same theme: students are either not aware of services available to them or the stigma surrounding their need was greater than their comfort level in self-management and establishing accommodations.
It didn’t matter if we were talking about food allergies or other conditions impacted by food, depression or learning disabilities. Everyone seemed to have a story of being unaware of services available, lack of information, and students simply not reaching out for support. Once your child hits the age of eighteen, colleges treat them like an adult. Which means, parents no longer have access to school or medical information. Thankfully, my son signed waivers allowing us to have access to academic and medical records and information.
Sending my child off to college, felt exactly like the first day of kindergarten but this time, my child was driving their own accommodations and self-advocacy. I am now a part of his food allergy history.
I finally realized students, parents, and college did not fail. Everyone was doing their best to navigate unchartered waters. The missing link in managing accommodations at college and life, in general, might be found in the young person’s comfort level with their own food allergy growth and management; while starting a newfound journey to communicate as a responsible adult when they are still dealing with their still-developing brain. In “Food Allergy Meets the Teenage Brain”, a special report published by Allergic Living Magazine, offers a look into the young brain and how we can help.
Think about it for a moment: our kids have been under our food allergy watchful eye for twelve years and the time has arrived for them to take the baton and run with it. BUT, this race is harder than normal since they are doing it in a new environment, with strangers, often in an unfamiliar city or state, with an unknown medical community and food prepared by people who may not be accustomed to allergen safe cooking.

To navigate this race, students will truly need to be comfortable with their food allergy self-advocating abilities. I witnessed a student with discomfort in speaking to an administrator about their health condition. This made me realize that our kids truly do need to feel confident in speaking to others about their health needs. Without this comfort level, self-advocacy for accommodations can create an uphill path during a very exciting, yet challenging time in life.
It became apparent that teaching our kids to feel comfortable in their food allergy skin might be the key to success after high school, whether they are joining the workforce, heading to a trade school or college. The ability to talk food allergies is simply critical.
This is not a skill to be learned overnight, so starting early (middle school) and creating a space of self-advocacy could be the solution! Speaking to waiters, calling manufacturers to check ingredients, attending 504 meetings and working with teachers could be a few useful steps in creating that golden comfort level.
I can’t help but think about the student who did not ask for accommodations for two years. Was this a great kid who was simply shy and felt awkward asking for support? Did they not want to draw attention to themselves? I hope the student has finally found that sweet spot of pushing through the discomfort and has mastered self-advocacy not only for themselves but for those who love them too.
Disclaimer: My son is a college sophomore and this topic is close to my heart. I hope to continually post about our journey. I mentioned Allergic Living Magazine’s teen piece as it remains as one of my most important special reports to date. I’m the biased Product Editor for Allergic Living and I’m biased due to the incredible professionalism and vetted work they do to keep our food allergy world up-to-date on meaningful topics.