I always said, “the kids get it more than the parents do”. But I never listened to my own advice. Something mind-blowing took place recently when I worked with a group of high school freshmen. Instead of 30 agonizing minutes of what, why and how food allergies are dangerous to their classmates (which has value). We covered the basics and asked the hard questions: Why bother? We explored the school’s pillars and how do food allergies fit into the school’s belief system as we took a closer look at the meaning of risk reduction.
The students dove right into the task of dividing into two groups to label read and find safe ingredients (thanks Grace for creating this activity and tradition for me to carry forward). I threw in a few extras: canned beans with a may contain peanut warning, lettuce with a very confusing label, etc. They experienced frustration with labeling reading and finding the right products.
They discussed what does exclusion look and feel like and what does inclusion feel like? Is inclusion one-size-fits-all? What works for a third-grader won’t fly with a 10th grader. We got deep into the inclusion conversation and how it is not easy to achieve without open and honest conversations taking place. Inclusion has so many different meanings for each situation: for some students, they prefer to eat at home and join their friends for a soda. Others truly enjoy eating together – especially if attending a very special event. We got serious that exclusion sometimes feels like rejection and nobody likes that feeling.
The students blew me away with their curiosity and critical thinking. I told them that I expected them to act like the good conscious community that they are and when a party or event arises, to not wait for the teacher or the allergic student to ask the allergen related questions. But, for the students without a special diet to speak up and get the conversation going – this is a community, right? Of course, they always need to honor students who want to keep their special diet private. So, outing someone’s health condition is not okay without permission.
The teacher ended our 50 minutes together by asking the students to make a recommendation to the administration regarding their ideas for educating the rest of the school community. For the first in my nineteen years of living with food allergies, I felt the most uplifted and hopeful about my fellow humans. These students were not lectured to do the right thing, they were challenged with creating, discovering and owning the right thing.
Disclaimer: One would think I would be biased offering food allergy awareness at my child’s school. But alas, we all know the truth: no matter how much we advocate in our communities, when it comes to our own school we can turn into mush balls of emotions and fear. But this time was so very different. I can’t explain the elation when I witnessed students seeing food allergies for what they are: a health condition that often impacts others, can feel awkward and sometimes needs support. What a great day it was and I was not expecting this kind of response! I’ll report back in a few months to see how these students are doing.
One of the hardest things I find about managing both life threatening food allergies and asthma is talking to others. I hate to be the one that might be perceived as demanding, pushing or for asking too much. What I now know, fourteen years later, is that honest, clear information presented with kindness works!..