As I stood in front of the preschool gate, the warm morning sun and blue sky did their best to remind me that a great day lay ahead. As my heart pounded, I left my food allergic child to begin his life of learning without me. Fearful that he might encounter an allergen and worried that the teachers might not recognize a reaction I had prepared the teachers to best ability. My mind saw the cute little brick house with the white picket fence (yes, it was the adorable cliche looking preschool) as Mount Everest; a giant mountain to climb. One that would require skills and tools unknown. One that left me worried I might be able to reach the other side.
Today is my high school senior son’s last full day of instruction. Next week is finals and then he has three full weeks of an internship before graduation day arrives.
Today, I realized that we climbed that monster of a mountain.
Today, I learned that that my Mt. Everest was actually a hill.
Today, I have gratitude for the journey, the tools and the community that helped reduced that mountain into an accessible hill.
Today, I am thankful my son is stepping onto the path of his new life.
Those overwhelming days are now behind us as we learned that life with an invisible chronic illness can get quite challenging, but doable. In the beginning, I felt like a climber with a giant pack of supplies on my back who tried to navigate unknown terrain. It sounds silly, but this is my silly truth: I felt like I would never get to this day. We were so focused on the here and now that college and adulthood felt like a distant planet to be reached at some point in time.
That giant mountain in my mind represented how overwhelmed I felt. My mountain became smaller and smaller as I learned more, met incredible people who were supportive, kind and loving–even when I was about to jump off the ledge. I learned toembraced my new life and that by advocating, not only did my world improve, so did the community as a whole. I truly learned what the term community meant.
As technology, high speed internet, support groups, food allergy websites and organizations, labeling laws, school policy, epinephrine laws, allergen savvy bakeries, restaurants and manufacturers expanded, my mountain shrunk. The abundant tools along our path invited me to put down that heavy pack and enjoy life.
Today, I kissed my son goodbye and wished him a good last day of regular high school as I smiled from the other side of my hill. What a wonderful day indeed.
Note: it is true, I do not know my giant mountains–that is the Matterhorn (thanks Grace–my Matterhorn guru).
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One of the hardest things I find about managing both life threatening food allergies and asthma is talking to others. I hate to be the one that might be perceived as demanding, pushing or for asking too much. What I now know, fourteen years later, is that honest, clear information presented with kindness works!..
Lovely piece, Caroline. I blame you for the mascara streaks in my face!
Love from Cheryl
Not to nit-pick, but that is not Everest. That’s my favorite mountain, The Matterhorn! LOVE IT!!!!
I hope I feel that way when I get there. In some ways that day feels like it would be more daunting. This whole new WORLD environment out there and did I teach my son all he needs to know to survive in all ways, especially in the realm of food allergy. More and more I do feel like I am turning it over to him to own his food allergy and life path. I am guessing I will be where you are, if not close, by the time 3 years from now comes. I am really glad you are there! Nice to know it is possible! And thanks for being such a great mentor/model for me and so many others! Big Hugs and Congrats (to you and Cyrus!)!
Ha! You are right! I had an Everest image and then grabbed this one last minute. Beautiful mountain! Thank you for being such a HUGE part of our journey. I am Soooo grateful for the progress the food allergy world has made and for technology, even though I complain. ..
Very well written (as always!) but definitely sharing so those who are just seeing Mt. Everest will know that it will shrink little by little <3
Congratulations, a job well done for the entire Moassessi family. What trailblazers you all are, thank you for your practical suggestions and encouragement for all. Xoxo
Beautiful Caroline! Cyrus is ready to blaze his own path, Thanks for taking us on this journey with you and sharing knowledge and tools along the way, You are a true leader and an excellent mom. Xo!
What a perfectly written article on our journey as mothers, as warriors (and worriers), and yes, as climbers of giant “mountains”. We feel the same. Our food allergy journey (in 4 different school systems) has been nothing shy of a heavy backpack of tools. Thank goodness for the ever growing supportive allergy community that helped us accomplish the climb.
As a side note, our daughter with a peanut/tree nut allergy accepted her first job this summer at a local mini camp and offered to specifically watch over the younger kids with nut allergies. On the spot, she expressed her ability and willingness to help prevent food allergies from occurring and to be an epinephrine trained volunteer. The baton has passed and yes, the mountain is now just a hill (and I’m crying too!)
What an incredible journey you have both been through! And we hope your story inspires others to think of their food allergy trek through life as just a series of hills and not a mountain!
Times certainly have changed since your son was a kid (and Eileen too when allergies was very uncommon 30 years ago). I think of those recently diagnosed, and believe that with the support of a great online food allergy community and incredible companies like Enjoy Life, So Delicious, Sun Cups, and more, it’s not as daunting as it used to be.
Congratulations for raising such an incredible young man, SuperMom. You both have a lot to be proud of and we’re looking forward to seeing what you both will accomplish in the future!